


Perceptions

by PerpetualDaydream



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Eventual Smut, F/M, Loss of Parent(s), Parent Tony Stark, Protective Steve Rogers, Slow Burn, like really eventually, will add more tags as the story continues
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-14
Updated: 2019-05-08
Packaged: 2019-09-18 00:09:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 15,119
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16984407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PerpetualDaydream/pseuds/PerpetualDaydream
Summary: As if witnessing the cold-blooded murder of your mother by a mysterious assassin firsthand wasn't enough emotional baggage to carry, you are then promptly told of the truth behind her life and death and sent to live with a father who's being kept in the dark about your familial connection and is fighting some demons of his own. Throw in a new super-team called the Avengers, secrets hidden and revealed, bonds built and broken, and battles won and lost and your life will never be the same. But if you can manage to find a family along the way, it just might be worth it. (Storyline follows canon but with some obvious reader-insert changes and additions.)





	1. Iron Man

“The truth is…I am Iron Man.”

You had been flipping through the TV channels one lazy evening when you landed on your favorite news network. The headline read “Stark Press Conference Imminent” and the cameras were focused on a reporter on the scene at the big event.

You’d been following the story of the robot-like creation that had recently been dubbed “Iron Man” for weeks - as sad as it was to admit, it was one of the few exciting aspects of the life of a nerdy, socially-outcast middle-schooler with a so-called “weird” interest in engineering - but every time your mother caught you watching the latest updates on it, she’d roll her eyes and tell you to turn it off or change the channel. Luckily, she was at a late meeting for work and wouldn’t be home for at least another hour, so you’d turned up the volume and leaned back on the couch to watch, but hadn’t been prepared for the big reveal that was imminent.

You sat in shock as Stark was mobbed by the reporters, but your frozen state was short-lived as the TV suddenly shut off.

“What did I tell you about investing yourself in this garbage story?”

You turned to your left and saw your mother standing in front of the entrance of your small apartment, television remote in hand. You had been so engrossed in the press conference you hadn’t even heard her come in.

“Oh h-hi M-Mom. I d-didn’t hear you come in.” you stammered as she walked into the room and stood in front of the television, still holding the remote.

“Well, clearly.” She didn’t sound pleased in the slightest.

“I still don’t get why you’re so against me watching this. I’m an aspiring engineer! Why shouldn’t I be paying attention? This whole Iron Man thing is huge; it’s a total game changer for all of science!”

Your mom scoffed in response. “That corporation may be a ‘game changer’ but they’ve also hurt thousands of people. Not the kind of changes the ‘game’ needs.”

“But-” Your mother held out a hand to silence you, and you could tell by the look in her eyes there was no use in continuing to argue against her.

After a moment, she put her hand down and looked away. You followed suit after a few seconds, and the two of you remained silent for a moment before the taller woman let out a sigh. She stepped over to where you were sitting and kneeled in front of you. Her expression had softened considerably as you looked back up at her face, as did her voice as she spoke once more.

“Look, Y/N. I know you love all this science-y stuff, and I’m sure you’re going to make a great marine biologist one day.”

You rolled your eyes. “General pathologist, mom. Or some kind of engineer.” You weren’t surprised she got it wrong - again - she had always so wrapped up in her work the past few years it felt like to only times she ever paid attention to you was to lecture or chew you out over something.

“Right, sure, whatever.” You rolled your eyes. a second time. “Look, Y/N,” her voice softened again. “My point is, if you really want to get into a good college to become…whatever it is you want to be, you really shouldn’t be wasting your time watching some guy fly around dressed as a robot.”

“But it’s not ‘some guy’ flying around, it’s Tony Stark. The guy who runs the largest tech conglomerate in the world. I’d say it’s relevant to my aspirations considering if I do go the engineering route there’s a chance I might be working for him someday.”

Your mother had tensed up upon hearing the name Tony Stark, but tried to keep her disdain as invisible as possible. She was determined to firmly deter you from the whole ‘Iron Man’ thing with minimal questions on your end, though knowing what an inquisitive daughter she had she was aware it would be a next-to-impossible feat.

She took a deep breath and tried to think of something to say that would be believable. “Y/N. I know I can’t tell you much about what I’ve experienced in my…career, with all the classified information and non-disclosure agreements.” She shot you a sympathetic smile as you both flashed back to when you were a kid; how you’d pester her with questions every day and have meltdowns when she had to deny you the answers. You always had to be ‘in the know’ about everything. And even though you’d long since given up on asking about it, your curiosity about your mother’s occupation had never faded.

Your mother grew more serious as she continued. “But I’ve had…run-ins with some of the people at the helm of that company. And I can tell you from personal experience that Stark is not a name you want to be getting yourself involved with.”

You opened your mouth to point something out, but she stuck up her finger before you could even utter one word. “And yes, I know they stopped their weapon sales after that incident a few months back.” She knew you so well. “But that’s just classic Stark for you. Self-serving until their assery is exposed followed by a quick heel-turn to save face.” She shook her head for a moment and sighed, then eventually looked back at you.

“Trust me, Y/N, the whole Stark empire is bad news. I don’t wanna hear about it anymore, and believe me when I say you don’t wanna get involved with it. Just take the other route and go be a social psychologist.” You rolled your eyes again, and she laughed.

“Well, if I'm being honest, I've always seen you as more of a sensitive, artistic type. But if you’re gonna get into engineering, don’t join them, beat them.” She smiled, and you attempted to send one back to her before she kissed your forehead and headed to get ready for bed, but you were pretty sure it didn’t reach your eyes.

Once your mother was out of earshot, you instinctively reached for the remote to turn the news back on, but forced yourself to put it back down and resist the urge to press the power button. While your mother was binded by law to be vague at times, she always told you the most important stuff. You knew better than to ask what exactly was so corrupt about Stark Industries and the people behind it, but you saw the look in your mom’s eyes as she gave you the warning, and that was enough for you to ignore your remaining curiosity about Iron Man.

For now, anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the plan is for each chapter to be named after one of the movies and take place during it's timeline (even if what's happening in this story isn't directly related to the plot of said movie) and for me to update this on a more regular basis than I usually do. XD We'll see if it works out!
> 
> And for those wondering when the last chapter of "Waking Up" (the fic I'm using to help myself get a feel of some of the key dynamics in this story) will come out, I'm hoping to have it up before Christmas.


	2. Fury's Big Week

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nothing much new in this chapter, but since Tony, Bruce, and Thor were all having adventures the same week (the "Fury's Big Week" comic takes place the same time as Iron Man 2, The Incredible Hulk, and Thor, hence the chapter title) I wanted to show what the reader was up to during that time.

You were nearing the end of middle school now, but not much had changed; still a social outcast who spent much of her free time following the increasingly wild stories on the news. Between the fight with the mysterious green monster at the college and the continued adventures of Iron Man (despite the fact you’d been told Tony Stark was bad news, you couldn’t help but be fascinated by the science of the suit...okay, and the drama of the danger, too) you were seriously slacking on studying for your final tests of the year. Good thing you were such a smart kid.

But, apparently, not smart enough to realize you shouldn’t lean your head on the door when eavesdropping on a phone conversation.

It all started when you got home from picking up dinner, per your mother’s request. When you got in the door, you were surprised to learn she was already back from work via hearing her voice coming from her closed bedroom door.

“You mean we’re finally putting that damn initiative to bed? I told you from the beginning it was a bad idea, Fury.”

So she was just talking to Mr. Fury, her boss at the private security company she worked at. You were a little disappointed - and confused as to why she’d shut the door for a basic work call - but your curiosity was always peaked by one-sided phone conversation so you continued to keep an ear on things as you started unpacking the food for supper.

“I know this was your passion project but we need to be practical about these things. This isn’t some video game, it’s the fate of the world. And-”

Fate of the world? You ear was glued to the door in an instant.

“...I know but-...Well, I’m glad even if you don’t see it my way, the Council does...Yes...I guess we can talk about it further on Monday, but the Council already turned it-...Fine. I’ll meet with you about it then. But I’m telling you, they’re still going to proceed with Phase 2. No matter how things play out, the Avengers Initiative is just going to blow up in your face.”

As soon as she hung up, she opened the door and inadvertently slammed your head into the wall.

“Y/N!”

“I’m fine, Mom.” you stepped away and rubbed your head.

She shook her head as she went to the kitchen to prepare you a bag of ice. “You really shouldn’t eavesdrop, Y/N.”

You knew any rebuttal you made would result in an argument you’d definitely lose. “I know,” you said quietly. “I’m sorry.”

She headed back over to you and handed you the bag before the two of you sat down for dinner. The conversation turned to the generic ‘how was your day’ fare, but soon you were unable to resist prying further. “So...how’s everyone at work?”

“Fine.”

“Anything new coming up? New projects? New...initiatives?”

There was no playing coy with her. “Y/N.”

You sighed. “Fine.”

The two of you continued eating in silence, as your mind kept going back to that “fate of the world” comment. You knew your mom worked in security, but it was for homes and businesses, not places like prisons or government facilities. And what were “avengers” supposed to be?  
Before you fell asleep that night, you settled on the theory these strange phrases were some sort of codewords. Admittedly, this raised more questions than it answered, but since it was clear you weren’t going to get an answer from your mother you attempted to make peace with your reasoning and convince yourself it somehow made sense.

But some part of you - a part you tried to keep buried deep within you - knew there was more to the situation than that. And for the next few years, you were always on edge when it came to your mom’s work. The eavesdropping got better, but the worries never did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is when things really start rolling, and I'm planning on getting it up much faster than I did this one. Now that "Waking Up" is finally finished I'll be able to update this story a lot more!
> 
> PS I love comments, they make me feel like I'm not just screaming into a void. :P


	3. The Avengers - Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reader has settled into a simple, sheltered life.....but one day that's shattered forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: This chapter contains some serious (and likely poorly-written) violence.

You were so psyched to finally be free of the terrors of middle school...only to be greeted by the horrors of high school. Fortunately, you were a very bright and responsible student, so you manage to convince the administration to let you complete your studies via online correspondence.

One spring evening, you were studying for your finals after supper, when suddenly your laptop closed. You looked up and saw your mother standing there, giving you the disapproving look you were all too used to.

“I’m studying for my physics exam,” you said as you reopened the lid, only for her to promptly close it again.

“The one that’s a month away?”

“I’ve already done everything else.” You were advancing through school at a more accelerated rate than the norm, but finals were still at a set time at the end of the semester.

You attempted to open the laptop again, but this time she picked it up and held it, sighing.

You sighed as well. “You know, you’re probably the only parent in New York who gets mad at their kid for studying _too much_.”

“Well, your probably the only teenager in New York who voluntarily stows away in their apartment 24/7 and only interacts with their mother.”

“That’s not true! I message-”

“Face to face, Y/N.” She wasn’t amused, knowing that you’d already been aware of what she meant.

You sighed again and rolled over on your bed.

“Y/N, someday you’re going to have to go out and face the world, and I won’t be with you anymore. What are you gonna do then? Who are you gonna turn to?”

In the back of your mind, you knew this lifestyle was unhealthy in several ways but you figured you had plenty of time before you actually needed to change it. You would finish high school online pretty soon, but you knew there were options to do so for college as well. (It’d certainly narrow down your options, but hey, maybe that was a good thing since you’d already been having a hard enough time deciding what to pursue.)  
  
Whenever you’d start to think about the future looming ahead, you’d quickly remind yourself you had years before it would actually arrive and go back to whatever it was you were working on. You weren’t exactly happy with this system, but it always managed to get you through the day.

You grabbed a pillow and covered your head with it, but she promptly snatched it away.

“I’m serious, Y/N. I’m not gonna be around forever, and you’ve completely isolated yourself from everything and everyone else. I think it’s great we’re so close, but-”

You snickered at the notion the two of you were ‘close’ which, again, did not amuse your mother one bit. After a moment of her angrily staring down at you, you spoke. “Oh, come on, Mom. You know we’re not like that.”

“What do you mean? I’m the only person you ever even _talk_ to!”

“Yeah, but not about anything important.”

“What? We talk about your schooling, your dreams, your health…”

“That’s just it, Mom; we only ever talk about _me_. I feel like I don’t even know you.”

“And what’s that supposed to mean?”

“You come home from work, ask me about school, then disappear into your bedroom and talk on the phone all night with ‘work’.” You did the air quotes with your fingers as you said the last word. “You really expect me to believe you’re spending all night dealing with security system bugs?”

“I-Y/N.” She was frustrated, but hesitant on what to say next. She sighed. “Yes, I am on the phone a lot with work-and it really is just work!” she quickly added, knowing you didn’t believe her.

“If it’s ‘just work’ why can’t you just _talk_ about it?”

“Because…” She took a deep breath. “Y/N, there are a lot of things about my position that are...complicated.”

You scoffed. “Like what?”

Just then, the phone rang, and your mother sighed again. “Look, I have to take this call.” You rolled your eyes and flopped onto the bed again. She looked at you apologetically but you were now facing the wall, so she just quietly left your room to grab the phone.

These kind of conversations were intense but typical, usually ending with a tight deadline or a phone call like the one your mom went to pick up. You stayed put on the bed, trying to go over your list of terms for class to relax your mind, and as much as you hate the constant phone calls, your mother’s faint voice in the background was comforting and began to lull you to sleep. But just as you were dozing off, you heard a big crash.

It sounded like some kind of broken glass, and you waited for the sounds of your mom cleaning it up and disposing of it as confirmation. But it was oddly silent, and after a minute, you decided to heave yourself up off the bed to make sure everything was okay.

But it wasn’t. 

The scene that awaited you was one you were definitely not prepared for, and would definitely never forget. The breeze from the open window. The broken glass scattered across the floor. The sound of heavy, panicked breathing from your mother as she pointed a handgun across the room.

And, of course, the sight of the intruder. His menacing stance and stature, and that despite the fact that he was standing on the other side of the room, he clearly towered over her. His messy brown hair that gave him the aure of just having come from a fight, clearly not bothered and already prepared for another one. And his piercing blue eyes, the only part of his face not covered by his thick black mask.

The two of them had been frozen in place as you’d entered the room, staring each other down - she with the handgun, he with no weapon but his terrifying stare and his own two hands (which, admittedly, also looked pretty intimidating) but your mom glanced in your direction once she saw you had arrived. It was _extremely_ brief, and contained no messages, no instructions. Nothing but pure, unadulterated fear.

Your first thought was to wonder why she hadn’t screamed for help, but then the intruder turned to look at you directly in the eyes and you suddenly got the full effect of what your mother had just experienced. His eyes were cold and emotionless but also simultaneously blindingly frightening.

He slowly began to take a few steps in your direction. You opened your mouth to scream but nothing came out. You couldn’t run, either, feet seemingly glued to the floor. You wanted to close your eyes at the very least so you didn’t have to visually witness your own death but they refused to wander from the ones of the man before you.

Your mother took the opportunity to attack. She fired the gun and the bullet hit the invader in the left arm, but simply bounced off. Your eyes immediately jumped to the where it was lying on the ground, rapidly browsing through your mind in an attempt to figure out how that was even scientifically possible as more and more of them bounced off of him and onto the floor. Your mind didn’t even register that the man had now turned back to your mother until the sound of the cycle of bullets being fired, bouncing, and hitting the floor ceased and you realized the gun had now fallen as well. You looked back up only to witness the one moment of this ordeal that would flash in your mind more often than any other.

The man was holding your mother’s limp body in the air by her neck, with his left arm by her neck.

You wanted to run over to him and attack by any means necessary, to make him suffer the same fate as he subjected your mother to, however futile your efforts would be. But you still couldn’t seem to move your feet from where they were planted.

And that’s when you were finally able to scream.

His gaze shifted from his victim over to you, releasing the body from his clutches and letting it drop to the floor. Your voice immediately disappeared, and once again all you could do was stare into his eyes and await your own fate.

His eyes were focused squarely on you for what felt like hours, before he suddenly ran across the room and jumped out the window.

Your mind shifted in a weird way you couldn’t explain, but suddenly the whole situation didn’t feel real. It felt like you were experiencing a horrible nightmare you’d only just realized wasn’t reality. If only you could get yourself to wake up….

You turned to head back to your room, ignoring the still open window, glass, gun, and bullets left all over the floor, and your mother’s body not four feet away from you. You laid down on the bed, hoping it would cause your body to wake up in your own. All it did, however, was hit you with the exhaustion that the adrenaline had masked and you soon fell into a deep sleep.

Of course, your sweet escape into slumber couldn’t last forever, and was broken the next morning by an unfamiliar voice.

“Miss Y/L/N? I need to ask you a few questions.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm very glad to finally be past this chapter so the next ones can get into the stuff with the Avengers themselves.
> 
> I am actively requesting feedback for everything I write so I don't feel like I'm yelling into a void but ESPECIALLY this chapter because I feel it was awkward, inaccurate, and not-descriptive enough o really evoke any real emotions like terror and kind of made me lose confidence in my ability to tell this story. I will probably edit it down the line accordingly if I get some advice (PLEASE give it to me if you have any) but I really wanted to be able to finally move on to the actual interaction with the Marvel characters.


	4. The Avengers - Part 2

You were flying in an odd sort of plane that no one else was on except the pilot and the man who had awakened you that morning. After proving he was with the government he had you quickly pack your bags and before you knew it, you were up in the air, face to face with the man, who claimed he was your mother’s boss.

You had so many questions you didn’t even know where to start. It was tempting to inquire about the big black eye patch he wore (anything to avoid facing the reality of your new situation for just a little bit longer). But considering the looks he gave you whenever he caught you staring at it - which admittedly happened way too many times in under an hour - you held your tongue on the matter. Instead, you went with something more important.

“So _you’re_ my mom’s boss?” But you just said you were with a special law enforcement organization.”

“That is correct.”

“My mom worked for a private security company, for corporations and stuff. Or would that be one of your sectors?”

“Well...not exactly.”

You squint your eyes.

“Technically speaking, she did work in security. Just maybe not the kind she had you believe.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

He sighed and looked at the floor for a moment, then back up directly at you. “Okay, Y/N. I’m gonna give it to you straight. Your mother was one of our top agents at S.H.I.E.L.D. She was involved with some heavily-guarded - and heavily _sought after_  - matters. And that made hr a major target for some of our enemies.”

“What?” You felt yourself begin to grow heated. “She never told me any of this!” You started to stand up but Fury grabbed your wrists and lowered you back into the chair you’d been sitting in.

“I know this is hard for you to understand. But your mother did some very dangerous work for us. She knew she was putting herself at risk, but she didn’t want the same burden on you. If our adversaries caught on to the fact you were her daughter, you’d be almost as big a target as she was. Possibly even moreso; you would make for the perfect hostage.”

“So why didn’t she just  _tell_ me what was up so I could protect myself?”

“She always said what you didn’t know couldn’t hurt you. Those bad guys tend to have some pretty...effective methods of getting what they want, information included. If you were to be taken in by them, they wouldn’t be able to use something like, say, truth serum against you if you didn’t know anything about the situation.”

A lump had manifested in your throat. “But maybe somehow I could have helped! I’ve been studying all kinds of technology and healing methods for years, and Mom knew it. Maybe I could have…” You stopped speaking and looked at the ground as tears threatened to spill out of your eyes.

Fury reach out and gently squeezed your right arm. You looked up at him and took a deep breath, trying to calm down a bit.

The two of you sat in silence for a few minutes until he looked out the window. “Looks like we’re almost there.”

“Almost there? We haven’t even started descending yet.”

“Well, we’re not going to be doing that for quite awhile. See, not to put any blame on you or your mother, but this whole incident kind of came at a bad time for S.H.I.E.L.D. We’ve assigned a handful of agents to try to track down the guy who went after your mother last night, but we’ve got something bigger going on right now.”

You wracked your brain for something that could possibly be bigger than a seemingly random assassin bursting into your apartment and murdering your mother. “This wouldn’t have anything to do with that incident this week in Germany, would it?” You remembered watching footage of the gala attack on TV and the chills you experienced as you watched the now-notorious jet black-haired man with cold, green eyes orchestrate the chaos. (In fact, you may have felt another one just thinking about it.)

“Someone’s been paying attention to the news.” He smiled, and you flashed (a very brief, pale) one back. We recently assembled our new enhanced team to help us handle the situation but it’s not quite as...harmonious of a unit as we were hoping for.”

“Oh.” You weren’t quite sure what to make of that.

“We’re heading up to our Helicarrier as we speak. I was supposed to be back there earlier this morning but I had to take a detour to pick you up.”

“What’ll happen when we get there?”

“Well, since we weren’t able to contact any designated godparent or other living relative with the means to be your guardian out of the blue, we’ve decided the best and safest course of action would be to have you stay with your father for the time being.”

“But my father is dead.”

“Not according to our records.”

“He’s dead,” you reiterated defensively. My mom told me. She wouldn’t lie about something as big as -” you remembered the recent revelations about your mother’s job and sharply cut your sentence off, looking up to see Fury giving you a look that made you feel even more foolish. Your voice got much quieter. “Never mind.”

Fury gave you another brief sympathetic look. “It all sort of falls into place, though. We were debating whether it’d be safer to keep you with us for now or with him, but as it turns out he’s actually working with S.H.I.E.L.D. On this very case, as a matter of fact.”

You had so many more questions now that _another_  bomb had been dropped on you.  _Did Mom know Dad was working with S.H.I.E.L.D.? Was he another major target? And if so, would staying with him really be the safest option?_  But you realized you had landed on a big ship in the sky and were now being instructed to disembark the plane you’d been flying in.

You were shown to an area where you dropped your bags and headed up to the deck you had been instructed to go to, hoping you didn’t get lost on the way. There were so many decks filled with computer monitors and people wearing similar uniforms it was a miracle you managed to find your way around.

As you approached the section of the craft as instructed, relieved you’d manage to correctly recall all of the complex security instructions to get there, you could hear several voices arguing and felt even more nervous and self-conscious than before. You slowly walked to the door, questioning whether you should even go in right now.

Ultimately, you quietly stepped into the room without announcing your presence...and couldn’t believe what you had just walked into.

The most random assortment of people you had ever seen stood before you. The first to catch your eye was a very tall man with long blond hair and a silver chest plate. He looked nothing like any of the agents you’d seen on the ship thus far (except for being extremely fit) resembling a LARP-er than someone prepared for a fight in the real world. “You speak of control, yet you court chaos!” he bellowed. Okay...so the gladiator role-playing vibes went beyond just looks.

But you barely had time to focus on that because a middle-aged man in a purple shirt immediately spoke up. He looked more like a college professor than a crime-fighter, but his presence still made more sense than the gladiator guy. “It’s his MO, isn’t it? I mean, what are we, a team? No, no, no. We’re a chemical mixture that makes chaos. We’re- we’re a time bomb.” Another person who talked like they looked.

“You need to step away.” Oh, so Fury _was_  there. You were starting to think you’d gone to the wrong deck. There was also a redheaded woman in a black bodysuit who at first glance was a little intimidating, but she did seem to be on the same side as Fury so that was probably a good sign.

“Why shouldn’t they guy let off a little steam?”

“You know damn well why! Back off!”

“Oh, I’m starting to want you to make me.”

“Yeah, big man in a suit of armor. Take that off, what are you?”

“Genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist.”

You spun to face the other side of the lab as two more voices piped up and went wide eyed when you saw who they belonged to.

“I know guys with none of that worth ten of you. I’ve seen the footage. The only thing you really fight for is yourself. You’re not the guy to make the sacrifice play, to lay down on a wire and let the other guy crawl over you.”

“I think I would just cut the wire.”

It was him. The man you had seen on TV for years, most recently flying around in the big metal suit. The man your mother had told you to pay no attention to because he was bad news, and as much as you were intrigued by his creations and adventures, you trusted her so of course you were wary. Standing this close to him now felt like a betrayal of her wishes, as if you were spitting on her grave.

But once again, you didn’t even have time to focus on that because you recognized the other man as well. The red, white, and blue suit and generally clean-cut image had been ingrained into your brain all throughout the many years of history class you’d taken in school. You'd seen him fighting on TV last week, but and was utterly perplexed as to how he was even there since he'd died all the way back in the 40's. But here he was, unmistakably present and standing just a few feet away from you.

“Always a way out. You know, you may not be a threat, but you better stop pretending to be a hero.”

“A hero, like you? You’re a laboratory experiment, Rogers. Everything special about you came out of a bottle.”

“Put on the suit, let’s go a few rounds.”

The LARP-er/gladiator/cosplayer let out a laugh which was so powerful you felt the floor vibrate. “You people are so petty, and tiny.”

The others began speaking again and it was clear the conversation was spiraling into chaos. But all you could think about was that your mother had been right. Captain America was essentially the gold standard for justice and general “goodness”, and if anyone were to cross him, they were definitely bad news. And if Tony Stark had just straight-up insulted him...

You were so wrapped up in your own mind you didn’t even register that purple shirt guy was now holding some long, fancy-looking spear that was glowing blue on one end. He looked down, appearing as surprised to be holding it as you were to see it in his hand. And as he raised his head and surveyed the others surrounding him, his eyes suddenly landed on none other than you.

“Oh,” he said, clearly thrown off by your presence. “I, uh, don’t think you’re supposed to be -”

You immediately snapped out of your thoughts and your head jerked over to where the others were standing only to see that every single one of them were staring right at you.

“She’s with me,” Fury said just as you were starting to leave, and motioned for you to come over. You did so hesitantly as he explained things further to the other five.

“Everyone, this is Y/N. She had kind of a rough night so we’re gonna have her hang around here for a bit until we can get things settled for her. Y/N, this is Dr. Banner, Agent Romanoff, Thor-”

“‘Hang around here’?” purple shirt guy - er, Dr. Banner - cut in. “This is a counter-terrorism intelligence agency highly-advanced aircraft carrier, not a rec center.”

“This is a very temporary situation, and we decided this would be the safest place for her at the moment.”

“Safe?” bellowed Thor. “Do you have any idea what’s on this ship?

“And I know you know _who’s_ on it,” added Agent Romanoff. That part made you shiver a bit.

“The point is, we can’t just keep some teenager on board,” said Stark. “She’ll be too much of a distraction. A burden on the whole operation.” Yep. Your mother was definitely right about him.

Fury sighed, realizing this meeting was not going to go the way he’d hoped. “Look, she just witnessed a fatal attack on her mother, alright? So if you could all just try to be a little more-”

Suddenly you heard a beeping sound, and everyone turned back to the monitor and everything started turning to chaos again. It was as if your introduction was the eye of the storm because suddenly everything was right back to how it was a few minutes prior; everyone arguing and you standing by the door, contemplating whether you should wait it out or go somewhere else. But where?

And then things quickly got even more frantic as you heard an explosion and a crash. _This is it_  you thought. They’ve found out where I am and have come to get me.

Everyone started scrambling in response to the attack. Fury quickly scanned the now-destroyed lab and pointed out a spot for you to stay that would keep you as far from the coming fight as possible. You tried to protest as the supposed target, but he ran off before you could say much.

You heard some voices from the other side of the room, but your own mental one kept you from paying them any mind.  _This is your fault,_  they repeated.  _They’re coming for you._

Suddenly you heard a giant crash - almost as loud as the first one - and a growl. You peeked out of your hiding spot only to see a giant green blur exit the room. Was that the ship’s attacker? Are they going to come back for me? You briefly considered trying to escape before whatever it was returned, but instead you slid back into place and prayed you wouldn’t be found.

But after what felt like hours, you heard footsteps approach. The noise had generally calmed down, but part of you wondered if that... _thing_ had already killed everyone else. You recoiled into the corner, only to see that it was just Fury, who looked pretty shaken.

“There’s been a bit of a change of plans, Y/N.” His slow, awkward speech made it even more apparent something was wrong. “We’re gonna get you off this ship and right to your father’s place. You’ll be safer there.”

 _That’s what I was trying to say earlier!_ But you tried not to let your frustration show too much. Fury motioned for you to join him and you headed back to the plane on which you’d arrived. As you walked back through the Helicarrier you were relieved to see people moving about, seemingly trying to return to normal. They were clearly a bit “off” much like Fury, but they were  _alive_  and the ship was somehow still intact for the most part.

You flew in silence at first, looking out the window as you returned to Earth. The New York City skyline soon became visible, with Stark Tower smack dab in the middle. It kind of put a damper on the view as you thought back to the things he’d said in the lab that day about both Captain America and yourself.

“There’s something we need to talk about before we arrive.” Fury snapped you out of your thoughts.

“Oh?”

“Your dad is dealing with a lot right now. We weren’t even sure about him joining the team, but he’s someone worked himself in, and now we’re dealing with Loki, and his army, and the Tesseract...I realized we can’t throw him off any more than we already have. I almost scrapped the plan for what to do with you, but I think we can still work with it, just under certain...conditions.”

You were confused and a tad suspicious. “Such as?”

Fury sighed. “Well, the good news is he’s agreed to have you stay at his place. We’ve just had to withhold a few details of the arrangement from him.”

Now you were mostly just suspicious. “And what would those be?”

“We feel that now isn’t quite the right time to inform him of your parentage.”

“What?” Then it clicked. “So wait, he doesn’t know he’s my dad?”

“Correct. And we’re gonna need you to keep it on the down-low as well.”

“And just how exactly am I supposed to do that? What did you even tell him?”

“Right now we have him under the impression that you staying at his place is going to be a temporary arrangement. He knows there was a fatal situation with your mother and that we need to keep you safe, and that living with the Avengers could provide that.”

“The Avengers? You mean the same people who not 6 hours ago made it clear they wanted nothing to do with me?”

You felt the plane land before Fury could respond. You began to take your bags as he finally did. “Somehow I think everything is gonna work out.”

Shaking your head, you climbed off the craft and heard the engine start again. “Wait, so you’re not coming in with me?”

“I have to get back up to the Helicarrier to sort this Loki mess out. Just use that card I gave you as you got on to get in the building and head on up to the penthouse. And just stay there until things calm down a bit.” And with that, the plane took off once more.

You sighed as you turned around to head inside and were greeted with the second worst news of the day, only beaten by the realization your mom’s death hadn’t been a bad dream after all. There it was, at the top of the skyscraper that stood before you:

_Stark Tower_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment so I know people are reading and stuff...haha...especially because I'm struggling a lot with the first half of this fic and am gonna need the motivation to get to the stuff I'm actually somewhat confident with in the second...(they'll probably end up being the first and second third but you know...lol)


	5. The Avengers - Part 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How will the reader handle it when she finds herself in the middle of a confrontation at Stark Tower after learning the truth about her parentage?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edited the last chapter a bit so if there are any inconsistencies that's probably why!

After deciphering the building’s security instructions - which were somehow more complicated than the ones on the Helicarrier - you took the elevator up all the way to the top as instructed.

The door opened to the penthouse and you stepped into a beautiful, upscale but not overly-so space you quickly recognized having seen before on TV; despite being able to hold events pretty much anywhere in the world, Tony Stark famously held a lot of them right in this space.

Tony Stark. Your father. You couldn’t believe it.

As you wandered around the room, you realized you were totally in over your head. Even ignoring the fact that you’d just had the mother - er, father - of all bombs dropped in your lap, you had no idea what you were doing here. Fury hadn’t given you any further instructions beyond heading up to the penthouse, and there didn’t seem to be anyone else around. You knew your bags would be heading up, but you didn’t know where exactly they’d end up and you had no idea how to navigate the building.

As stressful and chaotic as being evacuated from your home by a strange man with an eye patch, brought to a lying laboratory to the annoyance of a group of the most extraordinary people you’d ever met, and being delivered terrible news on the way to your new home was, it all may have been a blessing in disguise. Because now you were alone. Just you and your thoughts, left to process everything that had transpired since last night.

Being informed you had one of the most famous billionaires on the planet as a father and having the run of his penthouse apartment to yourself...for anyone else it would be a dream come true, but for you? It was pretty much your worst nightmare. _Second worst,_ you quickly reminded yourself. Nothing could top -

“Miss Y/L/N?”

You let out a brief, high-pitched scream as you stumbled backwards and fell over a black leather chair in the center of the room you hadn’t yet noticed, flipping over it and somehow managing to land on your feet on the other side.

“I’m terribly sorry, Miss Y/L/N, but I was wondering if you had any requests?” You couldn’t find the source of the voice, but you noticed it had an odd, tinny sort of tint to it.

“Wh-who-wh-where...?” You frantically looked around the room but there was no sign of anyone else being there.

“I have detected that your heart rate is significantly higher than average at the moment, so I have provided some ice water, a cup of peppermint ginger tea, and some essential oils in case you are inclined to use them.” You heard a mechanical sound and suddenly a tray emerged from the wall carrying the items the voice had listed.

“Oh.” You were surprised, but felt like you really shouldn’t be considering whose apartment you were in. “Thank you.” You gulped down most of the water and took a couple sips of the tea as you sat down on the chair you’d tripped over and began smelling the little vials of essential oils. “So, are you the butler with hidden monitors all around the place or something?”

“Just A Rather Very Intelligent System. But you are correct about the monitors.”

“Oh. Well, thank you for all of this. It’s actually really comforting in the middle of all this-”

Your gaze had shifted to the wall of the room made up of large windows, and you noticed a figure with long black hair and a scepter standing outside on the balcony. _No...it couldn’t be._

You ran to the other side of the room to put all the items back on the tray and back they went into the wall. As you looked back outside you saw that the person on the balcony was indeed the very man on the Helicarrier was after, and that both he and Tony Stark himself were about to enter the building.

Adding this to the long list of things you needed a rain check to mentally process, you ran to the elevator and pressed the button. And then again, and again, and again in such quick succession it jammed and got stuck. Scrambling, you practically leaped across the room to the only hiding place you could find, behind the bar near the stairs.

Once there, you chastised yourself for not just running _up_ the stairs - even though you had no idea where they led to - but as you contemplated doing so, you heard multiple sets of footsteps approaching.

“Please tell me you’re going to appeal to my humanity.” It was the first time you’d heard Loki’s voice since that footage on the news. Hearing it in person sent a chill down your spine.

“Uh- actually, I’m planning to threaten you.” Stark said it so... _nonchalantly_ ...what was he getting at? Or did he just see himself as invincible? _Probably the second option..._

“You should have left your armor on for that.”

“Yeah, it’s seen a bit of mileage. You’ve got the uh- blue stick of destiny. Would you like a drink?” _A drink? What?_ So he was self-absorbed _and_ crazy?

“Stalling me won’t change anything.”

“No, no, no - threatening.” You heard Stark approach the bar and squeezed yourself into your hiding space even tighter in hopes he wouldn’t see you. Luckily, there was no sign he did. “No drink? You sure? I’m having one.” _Or just the latter..._

“The Chitauri are coming, nothing will change that. What have I to fear?”

“The Avengers.” _Still laissez-faire..._ “It’s what we call ourselves, sort of like a team. ’Earth’s Mightiest Heroes’ type of thing.” You hated to admit it, but you were starting to realize whatever Stark was doing, his ho-hum demeanour and general snarkiness were helping you to calm down.

“Yes, I’m met them.” And for some reason Loki’s voice didn’t seem quite so threatening anymore.

“Yeah, takes us a while to get any traction, I’ll give you that one. But, let’s do a head count here. Your brother, the Demi-God,” _Ohhh so not a LARp-er, an actual Demi-God!_ “A super soldier, a living legend who kind of lives up to the legend; a man with breathtaking anger management issues; a couple of master assassins, and you, big fella, you’ve managed to piss off every single one of them.” You couldn’t help but let out a snort of laughter at that, but thankfully it didn’t seem like either of the others had heard you.

“That was the plan.”

“Not a great plan.” You smiled, in spite of yourself, and breathed a sigh of relief as Stark started to walk away from the bar. “When they come, and they will, they’ll come for you.”

“I have an army.”

“We have a Hulk.” _A Hulk?_

“Oh, I thought the beast had wandered off.” _Wait, is a Hulk what that green thing from earlier was?_

“Yeah - you’re missing the point. There’s no throne, there is no version of this, where you come out on top. Maybe your army comes and maybe it’s too much for us, but it’s all on you. ’Cause if we can’t protect the earth, you can be damned well sure we’ll avenge it.”

“How will your friends have time for me, when they’re so busy fighting you?” You braced yourself for the worst, but simply heard a metal-sunding tap. “This usually works.”

You heard Stark mutter something about “performance issues” and then the sound of something - or some _one_ \- hitting the floor. “JARVIS, anytime now.” _JARVIS?_

Your curiosity finally got the better of you and you peeked out from behind the bar just in time to see Loki grab your father’s neck. “You will all fall before me!” he threatened.

“Deploy...deploy!”

Suddenly, you heard a huge crash of glass shattering, and before you knew it you found yourself standing on the other side of the bar, just in time to hear the sound of some sort of device powering up and witness a metallic red contraption - which looked like a small rocket - burst through the room and fly out the window, knocking down Loki in the process.

 _Loki._ He was still there...but Stark wasn’t. Which meant you were alone in an apartment with the second-most terrifying being you had ever laid eyes on. You started to maneuver yourself back over the bar, hoping he’d leave if he didn’t think there was anyone else around.

“Well, well, well. What have we here?”

You froze, halfway on top of the bar, hoping it made your presence less obvious and that Loki was referring to literally anything else.

“I didn’t realize Stark had a daughter. I would think with his life on public display in this realm it would be common knowledge.”

You felt another chill run down your spine, while at the same time a tense heat began to grow within you. Without thinking, you immediately spun around. “I am _not_ Tony Stark’s daughter.”

Loki simply smirked at your snap at him and continued on. “I suppose he must be ashamed of having a child like you if he’s worked so hard to keep you concealed from the world.”

“I am _not_ his child!” you insisted, not sure whether your reaction was predominantly out of anger, embarrassment, or fear.

“So concealed, that neither he nor any of his allies are around to protect you. You don’t matter to any of them. Not even on their radar.” He began to take a few slow steps towards you as he spoke, and you leaned further and further back against the bar, cowering as he grew closer. “But perhaps you will be able to show them the error of their ways.”

“Wh-what?” Now you were as far back as you could go.

Loki grinned wickedly. “Join me. Join my army and bring them all to regret their neglect of you.” As he grew closer, it dawned on you that it looked just like the one Dr. Banner had been holding back in the Helicarrier lab.

But that thought exited your mind as quickly as it came. You were just so stunned that pretty much everything Loki was saying was right on the money. Even the stuff with the Avengers was somewhat true, seeing as they certainly weren’t pleased to see you earlier that day. But really, who _did_ want you around? You were clearly a burden on S.H.I.E.L.D., with the murder of your mother being little more than an inconvenience to a more important case, and you didn’t have any friends or relatives to take you in after it happened. As far as you knew, no one had even called. And you had to admit that it _had_ stung to be brushed off by the people who were supposed to be “Earth’s Mightiest Heroes”. Yes, you were a nobody, but weren’t heroes supposed to care about the people they were protecting? Even Fury, the person who had shown you the most sympathy since the incident, had basically abandoned you that afternoon.

You saw Loki raise the scepter and figured _yep, I’m done for_. But you were strangely calm, no longer feeling terror you had just a moment ago. You surprised yourself and let out a dry, sad laugh. “Just do it.”

“What?” Clearly, your response had come as a surprise to Loki as well.

“Do it. I don’t care. It doesn’t matter anymore. None of this does. Not if everything was all a lie to begin with.”

Loki had lowered his scepter and lost some of the intimidation and command in his voice in favor of confused intrigue. “What are you talking about?”

“I’m talking about spending your entire existence being told things were one way, and then everything suddenly changing. Having a bombshell dropped right in your lap.”

“I beg your pardon?” In a way, he almost sounded...vulnerable.

“Being told you’re not who you thought you were. That there was always a missing piece; a hidden piece. Finding out you have a connection to the very corner of the world you were always told was bad news.” Loki’s eyes were as wide as saucers now.

“And the worst part is that the only person who mattered knew all along. And she _kept_ it from you. It doesn’t matter if she was trying to protect you. She allowed you to live a lie for all those years.”

Loki’s face suddenly flared up in anger again and suddenly you were confused and afraid. This was somehow scarier than when he was taunting you before; now he seemed to be starting to lose control. “How dare a pathetic Midgardian such as yourself insult the Queen of Asgard in such a fashion?”  
“What? But I didn’t-”

“And there’s one other person you pissed off.”

You both whipped around to see Iron Man flying outside the broken window.

“His name is Phil.” With that, he raised his hand, sending a giant spark out of it to knock Loki down a second time.

You looked down at him, then back up at Iron Man. “You’d better head downstairs, kid. Fifth floor is security. You’ll be safe there.” He gestured toward the elevator, and you looked at each of them one more time before taking the latter’s advice. Just as the doors were closing, you saw him blast back off into the sky.

You still had so many conflicting feelings, but found yourself hoping he’d make it out okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will probably be one more Avengers chapter and then we can finally move on from that section of the story. :P
> 
> Also, I'm aware I've given a lot for the reader to unpack and haven't given her much time to do so yet, but that'll be in the next chapter as well. And don't worry, not all chapters will see her directly placed into scenes from the movies.
> 
> Anyway, comments are very much appreciated as always, so please drop me a line and give feedback! :)


	6. The Avengers - Part 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reader finally gets to process some of her emotions of the whirlwind day she's had, but not before witnessing an event which will change her world - and THE world - forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! Last chapter covering The Avengers! (This one could have been two but I want to move the story forward next time.)

You ran into the elevator, pressed the “5” button, and breathed a sigh of relief as the door closed and you began moving down, floor by floor. It wasn’t until you were about halfway to the fifth floor that you realized you had no idea what you were supposed to do when you got there. Fortunately, the A.I. system who had given you the tea and essential oils back in the penthouse piped up at that very moment, making you jolt.

“Miss Y/L/N, I can sense your heart rate has elevated in the past several minutes.”

_ Gee, I wonder why. _ “Yeah, and I think it just got even faster.”

“My apologies. While I am obligated to allow you to follow Mr. Stark’s instructions, I realize they were quite vague, and given the security floor is currently quite the chaotic area at the moment, I have taken it upon myself to set up a space for you in room 520, located on the north side of the corridor’s east end. The room’s key code is 050412.”

The elevator door opened again right then, and you were immediately greeted by the sight of people running down hallways and speaking in panicked voices, none of them even noticing you. “Chaotic” was certainly an understatement. But somehow, you managed to maneuver your way down the hall and to room 520, punch in the key code, and dash inside, away from the pandemonium.

Just as you were registering your surroundings as pitch darkness, the room suddenly lit up, allowing you to see it wasn’t much larger than a supply close and was filled with various switchboards, control panels, and monitors. There wasn’t much else save for a single black office chair, which you took a seat on given the lack of options of anywhere else to go within the small space.

“Miss Y/L/N.”   


You still weren’t used to that A.I. piping up from out-of-the-blue. You jumped in your seat, causing the chair to roll backwards and crash into a control panel on the wall behind you, making you gasp.

“Not to worry, most of the equipment in this room is currently disabled. This was simply the one free room on the security floor I was able to provide for you.”

“That’s good. I wouldn’t want to cause a technical malfunction in a building where in seems everything else is going wrong...wait, what exactly  _ is _ going wrong?”

“The Chitauri have arrived in the city and their army is attacking many of the civilians. Mr. Stark and the other Avengers are working to halt the invasion as quickly as possible, but these are unprecedented circumstances, as I’m sure you know.”

“But this is Loki’s army we’re talking about, right? Isn’t he...uh...down at the moment?”

“Loki recovered from the incident in the penthouse quite swiftly, and is out in the city now as well.”

“Loki’s out there? What’s he doing? Is he using that scepter on people like he tried to do to me? Is he after the Avengers?”

“Miss Y/L/N, your heart rate is increasing again. I set aside this room to help you remain calm, but you seem to need something else in addition. Would you care for some more of the essential oils I provided in the penthouse?”

“I need to know what’s happening out there.” You ran to the door, but were unable to open it. “Why is the door locked?”

“I have been programmed to ensure you follow Mr. Stark’s requests and remain a minimal disruption to Stark Tower activities.”

“Disruption? So I’m just a nuisance to everyone; of course I am.” You dejectedly sat back down in the chair, not having the ability to call anyone for help and not knowing who you would even contact if you could.

You didn’t know why your mindset was any different after what had happened back on the Helicarrier, but you thought you’d just had a  _ moment _ with Iron Man - your dad - in the penthouse. That maybe he’d changed his mind about you and wired his system accordingly. But that was a ridiculous notion, of course. He was flying around in his suit, ready for battle, and you were a kid he’d just met that S.H.I.E.L.D. had forced to take in.

“Miss Y/L/N?”

“What?” You snapped. You knew it was dumb to be angry with an artificial intelligence system, but you had nothing else to project your feelings on at the moment.

“If I can overtake and connect certain systems...I may be able to give you an outside view from this room.”

“Oh?”

“It will be an experimental task, not technically approved by Mr. Stark but at the same time, not explicitly prevented.” You began to hear some quiet beeping sounds, which grew louder as the three large monitors and the wires and equipment surrounding them began to light up.

The screens flashed on and displayed a point-of-view feed of flying around in the air. “I have created a connection between these monitors to the Mark VII suit. You are now able to view a feed from it in real-time.”

You were about to question what exactly that meant when a couple of odd-looking creatures on what could best be described as flying jet skis appeared and began advancing toward the camera before a blast of energy knocked them down.

“So I’m seeing what Iron Man sees?”

“Precisely.”

This pattern of zooming through the air, Chitauri appearance, blast (with the occasional zinger from Tony thrown in) continued for a few minutes until he started to chase a giant, metal, whale-like creature with spikes on top.

“What is that thing?” you asked.

“A Leviathan,” the A.I. simply replied.

Iron Man began to shoot lasers at the creature, but to no avail. “Sir, we will lose power before we penetrate that shell,” th system told him.

“JARVIS, you ever hear the tale of Jonah?”  _ JARVIS? _

“I wouldn’t consider him a role model.”  _ Just..Another...Rather...Very...OHHHH! _

Suddenly you realized he was heading straight for the Leviathan, flying directly into his mouth. You were about to yell at him to stop, despite knowing he was unable to hear you, but the next thing you knew there was an explosion and you found yourself - er, Iron Man - crashing through some sort of glass box and landing on the ground. Just as he was getting to his feet, a couple of the Chitauri appeared and knocked him back down again.

A new voice spoke up. “Stark, you hear me? You have a missile headed straight for the city.”  _ Fury! _

“How long?” he replied, before being hit by another Chitauri.

“Three minutes. Max. Stay load can wipe out mid-town.”

“JARVIS, put everything we got into the thrusters.”

“I just did,” the A.I. replied, and suddenly the sky came back into view on the monitor.

“I can close it.” You recognized that voice as Agent Romanoff’s. “Can anybody copy? I can shut the portal down!”  _ What portal is she talking about? _

“Do it!” There was Captain America.

“No, wait,” said Iron Man.

“Stark, these things are still coming!”  _ Chitauri coming through the portal? _

“I got a nuke coming in, it’s gonna blow in less than a minute.” You saw the suit focus in on a distant ship-like item in the air. “And I know just where to put it.”

“Stark, you know that’s a one way trip.”  _ Wait, what? _

“Save the rest for the turn J.”

“Sir, shall I try Miss Potts?” JARVIS asked, as an image of a blonde woman appeared on the screen.

“Might as well.”

But those were the final words exchanged before he reached the missile and grabbed onto it. Soon you could see directly into the sky, and there was that portal, the one Agent Romanoff must have been talking about. You could only watch as your view was soon consumed by it, and suddenly you could no longer see anything in Earth’s atmosphere.

The words “Call Failed” appeared above the photo of the woman, and then the screen - and the entire room, went to black.

“Hello?” You tried pressing buttons, but nothing worked. “JARVIS?” No response. After a moment, you got fed up and tried the door, becoming pleasantly surprised when it actually opened.

“What’s going on?” You asked aloud to anyone who would listen, before realizing the hallway was no longer loud and bustling as it had been when you were last out there.  _ What happened? Is everyone dead? _

You took a few steps back in the direction of the elevator until you came across an open door. You ran inside and saw a dozen or so people crowded around a TV showing a live news report on the invasion. You couldn’t manage to get more than a glimpse of the screen, but luckily someone came running over from looking out the window.

“They’re down!” the man exclaimed. “All the alien robots. They just...shut off!”

Everyone who had been staring at the screen ran over to see for themselves, and then you saw the headline: “Manhattan Crisis Officially Averted”.

-

You were lying on your newly designated bed up in the penthouse, thinking about all that had just happened in the past 24 hours. You were grateful to Fury, who had made sure getting you back up and settled in the tower was one of his first orders of business once the attack was over and cleanup had begun, but now you were on your own, even without JARVIS to keep you company since the system was still down. And now, all you could do was think. You had gotten an up-close and personal look at a whole new world of crime-fighting - the good, the bad, and the ugly - and you knew your life would never be the same. But the big question was... _ now what? _

You’d been lying on that bed for hours attempting to take a nap, but something was keeping you awake. Okay, a lot of things were, but there was one primary matter you were trying to wrap your head around. It wasn’t your mom’s death (which you knew it probably  _ should _ be, but your mind was in no place to process grief at the moment so you were pretty much staying in denial for the time being) but did concern your other parent. You had no idea what to think of Tony Stark, and it was driving you  _ crazy _ .

You’d always been fascinated by him - well, mainly Stark Industries in general - but then your mom gave you that warning and began talking the Stark name down on the regular, and then what he’d said on the Helicarrier and his fight with Captain America -  _ the  _ Captain America - kind of sealed the deal for you that he was just a pompous asshole who was probably in the hero business for the glory.

But then the stuff at the penthouse went down...and while it seemed like nothing there was something about him that drew you in and made you feel like he wasn’t so bad after all...until you found out he saw you as a “disruption”. But  _ THEN _ \- as you found out through Fury and reports later on - he straight-up sacrificed his life to stop the invasion and save the world.

You didn’t fully understand what was going on while watching it all play out, but the idea of nearly watching your father die the day after witnessing the murder of your mother sent a chill up your spine, despite the fact that your feelings towards him were as confusing as ever. But he couldn’t be  _ that _ bad of a guy if he was willing to give up his own life to save everyone without hesitation... _ right??? _

Your thoughts were interrupted by a knock at your door. “Hello?”

The door opened and your eyes widened. You weren’t exactly sure who you expected to see enter, but you  _ certainly _ didn’t expect it to be  _ the _ Captain America.

“Hi,” he said quietly. He wasn’t wearing his battle suit anymore, but he was holding a Styrofoam box. “Can I come in?”

“Uh...sure.” You sat up on the bed, curious as to what brought Captain America up to your room.

“I didn’t want to wake you, but I did pick something up.” He handed you the box and you opened it to reveal a pita with shawarma and vegetables on top. “We all went out to celebrate and I thought you might like some.”

“Thanks, but I’m not very hungry right now.” You closed it and placed the box beside you on the bed. “And don’t worry, you didn’t wake me. I don’t think I’m gonna be able to sleep for awhile,” you attempted to laugh, but there was an audible sadness to it.

You looked up at him and saw he couldn’t hide the pity in his eyes, causing you to roll yours and lie back down. Of course he only came to see you because he felt sorry for you. “Hey,” he said. “Look, I’m sorry. I know you’ve had a rough day. I mean, we all have, but I think you have the rest of us beat.”

“Look,” you said, staring up at the ceiling. I know everyone thinks it’s so cool you’re suddenly here in this time, and I think it’s great you’re back to fight the good fight again, I really do. But I’m not a charity case. A pity party thrown by Captain America is not going to cheer me up. So if that’s what this is just...just go now.”

You rolled over onto your side as you felt your eyes start to sting with tears; even though you’d just kind of told him off, you really didn’t want  _ the  _ Captain America to see you cry. The room remained silent for a moment before he spoke again. “You know, my mom died when I was about your age.”

“Oh,” you said quietly, not sure if you wanted him to go away or continue talking.

“Tuberculosis,” he continued. “And I never knew my dad - he died before I was born.”

“So Fury told you about all that?” _ At least don’t know about you and Tony yet. _

“Yeah, he came to talk to us when we got to the tower…” he reached his hand behind his head and rubbed his neck, looking unsure of how to proceed. “Mind if I sit down?” He gestured to the bed.

You signed. “I guess not.”

He sat down on the edge of your bed and you hoisted yourself up to sit next to him. “I guess what I’m trying to say is, I understand what you’re going through. And I want to help. As Steve, not Captain America.”

“I’m glad you want to...Steve.” And you really were glad. He seemed genuine in his desire to do so, and the fact that he was the only Avenger on the Helicarrier who hadn't expressed outright disdain for your presence certainly didn’t go unnoticed. That’s why you felt bad for still being a bit frustrated with him, but he just didn’t  _ get _ it. “But I don’t think our experiences are as close as you think they are...I lost my mom...out of the blue. There one minute, gone the next.” You felt the tears return, and they were harder to hold back this time. “It’s just not quite the same. You got a warning, a chance to say goodbye...I didn’t,” you finished quietly, looking down at the floor. “And I could have stopped it.”

There was a beat, and then, “I actually think I know where you’re coming from with that.”

“Oh?”

“Little known fact about myself: I fought in a war. A pretty infamous one, at that.” You couldn’t help but let out a little laugh at that, then hesitantly looked up at Steve only to feel relief wash over you when you saw he was smiling.

“It rings a bell,” you teased lightly.

“Well, one day there was...this mission. We were on a train, and after an enemy blast, that was it. Off the car, gone forever. I was right there, but..I didn’t whip out the shield fast enough; didn’t grab him in time.”

“Oh.”

“He was my best friend. Always trying to protect me from everything and everyone...well, before this happened.” Steve gestured towards his body. “But even then...he stuck right by me, right til the end of the line...and I couldn’t save him.” He sighed sadly.

“Oh.” This was a lot to take in, and you weren’t quite sure how to respond. “What was his name?”

“James. James Buchanan Barnes. But everyone just called him Bucky.”

“Bucky,” you repeated. “Sounds like he was pretty great.”

“He was.” Steve turned back to you, trying to push aside his lingering feelings of guilt. “And one of the greatest things about him was how he became my home after I lost Mom. He even tried to be my home in a literal sense; he practically begged me to move in with him.”

“Th-that’s nice.” You wanted to feel happy that Steve was able to have some stability and sense of companionship in his life, but you couldn’t help but recognize that was something you didn’t have right now and you started to feel even more alone than before.

“That’s actually why I wanted to come in here tonight. I know we don’t know each other that well, Y/N, and we come from completely different lifestyles, but I can tell you could use someone who understands where your mind is at right now. So whatever you need, I’m on it.”

You nodded slowly. “Okay…” you whispered, still on the verge of crying. “But I don’t even know what I need...we don’t even know what’s gonna happen next after today.”

“Well, whatever it is, we’ll face it. Together.”

You gave him a small smile, but then a realization suddenly hit you like a ton of bricks.

“I…I just...I just need my  _ mom! _ ” The floodgates burst open and out came the tears. And the sobs. (The  _ loud _ sobs.) It finally hit you that last night was it; you were never going to see her again. And you had no idea how to live with that information, hence why you’d suppressed it all day. But you just couldn’t anymore.

Steve began to rub circles on your left leg to help calm you, but when it became apparent you wouldn’t be consoled anytime soon he pulled you into his chest, arms wrapped around you and circles being rubbed on your back instead. You appreciated the fact that he never told you to calm down or threw out the old classic, “it’s okay”. It  _ wasn’t  _ okay, Steve knew it wasn’t okay, and in this moment, it was okay to not be okay.

It felt like hours before you finally began to tire yourself out. Only when the tears and sobs had finally subsided (for the most part) did Steve speak again.

“I’m guessing that was bottled up inside you all day?” You nodded. “I know the circumstances were...unusual, but that’s really not a healthy way to deal with this, Y/N.”

“I know,” you let out a sob. “I just don’t know what else to do.”

“Talking might help.”

You mind flashed back to the previous night and you started shaking. “I don’t want to talk about it. I’m not ready.”

“You don’t have to talk about what happened last night yet. But you can’t just pretend this never happened. After my mom died, I tried to forget that she ever existed for awhile. But running from the pain only made it worse in the long run.”

You didn’t respond, so he continued. “Like I said, you don’t have to talk about... _ that _ yet. But you can’t just push your mother away. She doesn’t deserve that...and neither do you.”

You sighed. “I guess not.”

“Can you think of any good memories about her? Surely you missing her this much means there must be lots.”

You thought for a moment. “Well, there was this one time when we were cleaning the apartment and we came across…”

For the next hour or so, you and Steve shared memories about those you’d lost. You told him all about your mom, and he told you all about his, and also some classic stories about his adventures with Bucky. You eventually recognized how tired you were, so you laid down on the bed while Steve continued to tell you stories until you fell asleep.

You still had no idea what would come next, but you were starting to believe you really could face whatever it was. Together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, please comment and share feedback! Thanks for reading!


	7. Iron Man 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reader is having trouble adjusting to her new life, but a big promise and a powerful story might prove to help a bit.

You were lying on the ground, trying to bring yourself back to reality as your mind flashed back through the past several months and how you’d ended up at this point of panic.

You remembered how, nearly a year ago, you’d stood just a few feet to your right from your current position on the kitchen floor. It was the morning after the infamous Battle of New York, and you were finally formally meeting all the Avengers.

“You all know Y/N from yesterday,” Steve said after you’d come into the kitchen. “And this is the team.” He gestured towards each member as he introduced them to you. "Clint Barton, Bruce Banner, Natasha Romanoff and Thor.”

Clint shook your hand and gave you a small smile. Bruce went to do the same but stopped and just awkwardly waved instead of taking your hand. Natasha simply nodded at you and went on with her breakfast.

“And of course there’s Tony Stark,” Steve continued as the man himself walked into the kitchen.

You turned to gauge how to proceed with Tony when you felt your right arm being jolted up and down repeatedly.

“Ah, yes, pleased to properly meet you, Lady Y/N!” Thor’s voice boomed.

“Hi,” you said meekly as  he finally let go.

“So, what’s the plan for today?” Clint asked as he unpeeled a banana. “This has been fun but I have a few...personal matters to take care of.”

“Loki’s still being held in custody but Thor here managed to convince them to let him bring him back home so they can deal with him their way...whatever that is. Once that’s done you should be able to go deal with your...side project.” Natasha explained with a look in her eye that indicated she knew something she wasn’t outright saying. She then turned to Steve. “And S.H.I.E.L.D. wants to meet with you later this afternoon. I think they’ve got some things for us to handle a little further west. But don’t pack too heavy.”

“Pack?” you were confused. “You mean you guys aren’t staying here?”

“Well, I think I’ll probably be around awhile,” Bruce chimed in. “Stark has a pretty good facility here and I think I can do some pretty good work, that is, if he’ll let me.”

“I gotcha, Brucey. In fact, I’m gonna be setting up a few renovations for this place.”

“Oh? Well, do tell.”

As the two scientists headed out of the room to talk tower plans, and most of the other Avengers went to pack their bags, you turned back to Steve. “So that’s just  _it_? But I thought you guys were the Avengers now? I thought you were all going to move in here and live the crime-fighting life as a team?”

“We are. But this mission is over. We’ve all got others to move on to now, and we’re all on different paths.” You sighed and looked dejectedly at the floor. “But I don’t think this is the last you’re going to see of this team.” He smiled at you, and you gave him a small one in return along with a hug.

“I wish I could go with you instead of being stuck in here.”

-

Once the team was gone a couple hours later, you didn’t know what to do with yourself, so you went with what you always did: hunkered down in the bedroom that you had been assigned and studied. Even when Banner and Stark returned - along with Pepper Potts, Stark Industries CEO and girlfriend of the namesake himself - you did your best to stay out of their way, really only leaving your suite to run down to the kitchen to grab food whenever no one else was around.

It felt like a huge weight had been lifted off your chest when Tony and Pepper left for California. You wouldn’t say you didn’t quite know it had been there to begin with, but you definitely weren’t aware of how heavy it had been. You actually managed to bring yourself to go in the kitchen to grab a muffin while Banner was finishing up his lunch a couple days after they were gone, and this soon grew into taking your work outside your room for a change of view.

Things were definitely awkward for awhile - you never really knew what to say to each other - but at least you weren’t panicking at the thought of leaving your room anymore. But soon they got better. The two of you ended up having a fair amount in common, and you even started to help out in the lab from time to time. But it was clear it wasn’t the same connection as what you’d had with Steve.

He had called pretty often, at least once every week or two, but you hadn’t been able to had the same level of conversation as the very first night you’d arrived at the tower. Part of it was that you didn’t want anyone else on his end overhearing about that kind of stuff, but you also didn’t want to worry him. You knew that he was doing some important work for S.H.I.E.L.D., after all.

The only time you’d seen him in person was at Christmas, when he’d dropped by for a few days. Together, the two of you along with Bruce had a quiet holiday; after Steve’s many missions and your silent stressing over the news reports about Stark’s antics on the opposite coast earlier that month ( _Revealing his home address to a terrorist? Really?_ ) you needed some time to relax, even though both you and Steve were the type to get restless whenever you didn’t have anything to keep yourselves occupied.

But it was hard to not bring up some of those heavier topics - especially your mom; while it was your first Christmas without her, it was Steve’s first without being in the 20th century - so you did your best to put a smile on your face and keep quiet about it.

But then, late on Christmas Day, a warm mug was placed in front of you and you turned around to see Steve standing there with one of his own.

“Banner turned in early,” he said as he sat down next to you on the couch.

“I was gonna do the same thing,” you replied as you stood up and prepared to head to your room for the night.

“Alright. But before you go, can I give you something?”

You’d already exchanged gifts that morning, so this took you by surprise. “Okay.”

Steve pulled out a large folder from behind the couch. He opened it up and pulled out a piece of paper, handing it to you.

It was a realistic pencil drawing of you and your mother which looked just like a photo of the two of you taken a couple of months before the attack in your apartment that you’d grabbed to take with you when you’d left with Fury. But you couldn’t bear to look at it so it’d ended up lost somewhere in your room at the tower since you’d arrived. There were a lot of mixed emotions with this and tears welled in your eyes as you gazed at the artwork.

“I - oh - wow, Steve - did you draw this?”

“Yeah. I found the ‘source material’ in your room the day I headed out to work with S.H.I.E.L.D. Been working on it whenever I got a spare moment or two. I used to do them for my mom, so I thought it’d be nice to do one for you with yours.” He tried to maintain his smile, but you could see the hint of sadness in his face.

“I’m sorry,” You said. “I know this Christmas has been hard for you too.”

“Don’t worry about it,” He was clearly hurting, but was also trying to appear stoic and you knew he wanted to try to push the pain away so you let him. (After all, it was a feeling you knew all too well.) Steve looked in your eyes earnestly. “I know you don’t like...reminders of what happened, but you gotta keep her around somehow, Y/N. I still have one of my mom’s old bracelets. And this old green tie Buck let me borrow that I never got to give back. And this.” He pulled out a compass and opened it to reveal an old photo of a woman’s face. You opened your mouth to ask about her, but he snapped it shut and put it back in his pocket before you could get a word out. (You weren’t sure whether or not that was intentional, but you erred on the side of caution.)

“Okay,” you said, sniffling. “I think this’ll be easier to have on display than the actual photos. Whenever I look at those I just think of her body on the ground. And that man with his cold stare and his death grip around her neck.” The tears were flowing freely now.

Steve wrapped his arms around you and the two of you stayed that way for a few minutes. As you pulled away and went to take the gift upstairs he spoke up again.

“Y/N...there’s one more thing I want to give you tonight.”

“Oh, Steve, you’ve given me so much already.”

“Just one more thing,” he let out a small laugh, and you couldn’t help but smile.

“Fine.”

“Y/N, I get sent on a lot of missions, but tonight I am going to start one for you.”

“Oh?”

“I know you’re upset about what happened to your mom.”

“Yeah.”

“And I also know you’re scared about him coming back. Maybe attacking you next.”

“...yeah...” you hated to say it out loud, because as rational as it was to be deathly afraid of being a victim of a cold-blooded murder, it felt like you were chickening out of a situation your mom had to give up her life for. If she saved you from him, wouldn’t it be cowardly to not want to “pay it forward” should he return? (Yes, it sounded stupid, even to you, but those were the kinds of thoughts that kept you up at night.)

Steve looked right into your eyes and took both your hands in his. “Y/N, I don’t know who this guy is, where he went, or what he’s doing now. But I’m gonna give you my word that I will make sure he’s taken down for good before he can cause you any more harm.”

You didn’t know what to say to that, so you just nodded a bit until he continued.

“I’m gonna talk to Fury as soon as I get back, and we’re gonna get on this. Right away. Whoever this guy is, I don’t want him taking away - or ruining - any more lives.”

You nodded again, barely managed to squeak out a “Thank you,” before taking the drawing and quickly making your way to your room.

That night was the first time since the attack you cried yourself to sleep out of more than just grief or fear. Even though nothing concrete was in place yet, Steve’s words made you feel like maybe everything would be okay, and you could find a sense of peace - maybe even normalcy - again. It was difficult when he had to leave the next day, though, especially since you just weren’t able to open up to Banner the same way you could with him.

Which was why, a few weeks after New Year’s when he told you Tony and Pepper were moving back into the tower after the whole Malibu house incident, you simply squeaked out an “Oh, that’s cool,” before scrambling up to your room.

That night, you made sure Bruce had already had dinner before running down to the kitchen. Even though your stomach was in knots, you wanted to try to will yourself to eat  _something_. But once you’d made it down you heard  _that_  voice and any minuscule appetite you may have had vanished immediately.

Suddenly feeling sick to your stomach, you attempted to sit at one of the breakfast bar chairs, but it quickly became apparent you couldn’t even handle that so you ended up lying on the ground, curled up on your side trying to will the nauseous feeling to go away.

Your mind clouded, so you couldn’t really understand much of what was being said, but it soon became clear from the two men’s tones and volume of voice they would be staying in the living room, right by the kitchen, for the foreseeable immediate future. This was bad because you really just wanted to get away and back to the safety of your room but could barely move, but it was also somewhat of a blessing because at least neither Bruce nor Tony appeared to be heading for the kitchen anytime soon.

You felt just enough of the anxious, panicked feeling lift to sigh internally. Why were you so freaked out, anyway? Despite your mother’s warnings about Tony Stark, he hadn’t done anything bad since you’d moved to the tower...okay, nothing  _malicious_ at least. ( _Seriously? INVITING A TERRORIST TO HIS HOUSE???_ ) But you still really didn’t want to be around him...he just seemed so... _ambivalent_  towards you, even after he saved you during the battle against Loki. Though, of course, that shouldn’t have made you upset considering the nature of your encounters.

Maybe if you spent more time around him that would change...but if he was you a little _too_  long, would he realize the truth? You knew that was silly, especially since you definitely took after your mother in the looks department, but you still found the idea daunting.

Those pesky butterflies hadn’t all left yet, but they had subsided enough for you to be able to move from lying on your side to supporting yourself on your hands and knees and crawling over to the wall by the door leading to the living room. Your curiosity, as always, was getting the better of you and overriding whatever the root of your anxiety was, and you found you were able to hear much more clearly from this side of the room.

“A famous man once said, ‘We create our own demons.’” Tony was saying.  _Oh? That’s actually pretty profound. Who said that?_  you wondered.

“Who said that?” You jumped, wondering if you’d accidentally asked the question aloud before realizing it was Tony. “Doesn’t matter. I said it because he said it.” Without realizing it, you smirked slightly at that.

“So now, he was famous and it’s basically getting said by two well-known guys.”  _Okay?_ “I don’t, uh...” Tony sighed. “I’m going to start again. Let’s track this from the beginning...”

-

“So, if I were to wrap this up, tie it with a bow, or whatever...I guess I'd say my armor, it was never a distraction, or a hobby. It was a cocoon. And now, I'm a changed man. You can take away my house, all my tricks and toys. One thing you can't take away...I am Iron Man.”

You hadn’t even realized it until you shifted in your spot by the wall and realized how numb your legs were, but you’d been sitting there for over two hours.

“You know, and thank you by the way. For listening.” Just as you had earlier, you jumped again, before realizing Tony was actually referring to Bruce.

“Plus, something about just getting it off my chest,and putting it out there in the atmosphere, instead of holding this in...I mean, this is what gets people sick,you know. Wow, I had no idea you were such a good listener.To be able to share all my intimate thoughts and my experiences with someone, it just cuts the weight of it in half. You know, it's like a snake swallowing its own tail. Everything comes full circle. And the fact that you've been able to-help me process...” He abruptly cleared his throat. “Are you with me?”

“Sorry... I was, yeah.” Bruce sounded like he was trying to stifle a yawn. “We were at, uh...”

“Are you actively napping?” You almost let out a giggle at that.

“I was... I... I drifted.” You had to cover your mouth so the sound wouldn’t get out. 

“Where did I lose you?”

“Elevator in Switzerland.” Oh wow.

“So, you heard none of it.”

“I'm sorry. I'm not that kind of doctor. I'm not a therapist. It's not my training.”

“So?”

“I don't have the-”

“What? The time?”

“Temperament.”

“You know what? Now that I think about it...Oh! God, my original wound. 1983, all right? Yes. I'm 14 years old, I still have a nanny. That was weird...”

You could practically see Bruce fall asleep again through the wall. It was probably a good thing you hadn’t tried to talk with him about your own internal turmoil, though it must have been so frustrating for Tony to unload all that only for no one to listen to him. It must have felt like a waste of breath.

Except there  _was_  someone listening to him. Someone who had heard all of it; the anxiety attacks, the truth about the Mandarin, the fight with all the suits. Someone who had gone through every possible emotion in those two hours and had been hanging on her father’s every last word.

You didn’t know how to process all of it. Your feelings about this man had just developed a whole new layer. But, as would soon be proven, it most certainly was  _not_  a waste of breath.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah, this was another heavy talking and set-up chapter and I'm kind of disappointed with it but it took two months for me to come up with something that worked for this movie. Reader being directly involved with the events of Iron Man 3 didn't fit the direction I'm going with the story, but the movie had a big impact on me when it came out and I thought it'd be cool if it did for the reader as well, in ways will be explored throughout the rest of the fic.
> 
> Speaking of the direction I'm going with this story, I have seen Endgame and am very mixed on the movie as a whole but I feel as though I should stick to canon at least for the Infinity Saga (I don't know if Far From Home is supposed to count as that, even though it's still "Phase 3", but if I do decide to include that movie in this fic it'll probably be the last canon-compliant part of it) so I'm gonna try my best to work with it, even though some stuff I REALLY didn't want to happen for the sake of both this fic and actual canon happened. This story is a sort of writing exercise in that regard so it'd feel cheap to diverge from canon right before the end. There are some things I think I can make work really well and others I'll have to sit on for awhile to figure out how to include them in a satisfactory way. But I guess I got time since we still have 14 movies to go before we even get to Endgame, and not much leading up to that point will have to change, thankfully.
> 
> Oh, and I'm so down to talk spoilers in the comments! (I really like comments in general lol; I'm constantly checking to see if I have any!)


End file.
